Until I put the finishing touches on the previously promised post, I thought I would post a quick one. Here you go…
When someone or something exciting and cool comes to Dayton, I try to make it my business to be there. Dayton has a beautiful, new performing arts center where we’ve seen Jerry Seinfeld, “Movin’ Out,” and Dora the Explorer. “Exciting and cool” is a relative term in a house with a little girl.
When I heard Kathy Griffin was coming to town, I got a bunch of friends together for the show. There were eleven of us in all – a great mix of great girls – and we had a great time!
A funny thing happens in this town when you get a bunch of people together that don’t know each other…it turns out they DO know each other or have someone in common or dated the same guy or are actually RELATED. It never ceases to amaze that ten minutes after “strangers” meet out here there’s always an exchange that ends with, “Your uncle’s wife is my cousin’s step sister!” or some such craziness. It was no different this time. Amy and Jill went to high school with Jean and Julie’s husbands. This means that Heidi’s husband went to school with all of them. Jenn and Jean had some common friend and Noel knows everyone in this town so it’s only a matter of time. It seems that Anne, Kate, Traci and I were the only ones not previously connected – but I don’t think that we worked hard enough to know for sure.
We had a blast at the show.
Later that week, I told my mother that I went to see Kathy Griffin. “Oh, she’s crazy,” my mothers said in hushed tones, “She talks about her clitoris and everything.”
OK – So first of all Mom, I love you, but NEVER SAY CLITORIS TO ME AGAIN! I don’t want to know that you know that you have one of those. The implications are more than I can take. You are to now and forever refer to that area as “privates” or “down there.” Thank you very much.
Secondly – What do you mean “and everything?” To ponder that question is even scarier than the first part. Here's my comfort level: You knew enough to give birth to me and my siblings. That is all the information you need to have. I cannot ever believe that you know about everything. Lie to me if you have to.
Lastly – Is someone still “exciting and cool” if your mother watches her Bravo specials?
Help me.
1 comments:
My grandmother once told a hilarious joke to my mother and I, about 5 years ago. I don't remember the joke, but the word "orgasm" was in it. I kept laughing so hard, and interrupting the joke, she had to start over. And of course, this meant she'd say "orgasm" all over again. This, to me, was the funniest part of the joke. The very fact that my grandmother was saying orgasm. Now, she was a nurse, and I got a huge lecture......but during the lecture I was still laughing like a loon because she said "orgasm." I might wet my pants if she said "clitoris."
As for the Kathy Griffin Night- for me, it was like going to church. I was saying "Amen", standing up in my seat, waving my hands in the air, and was filled with the holy spirit of Gossip and Cattiness. (Okay, Grandma- I'll pray for God to forgive me later for that comment). I had a blast, and loved the show, and enjoyed the company as well. Thanks again, Joanne!
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